Self-Esteem: Challenging Our Assumptions

Do any of these statements sound familiar?
* It was this way yesterday, so it will be this way tomorrow.
* My family has always treated me like this; it won't change now.
* I have been chubby since 5th grade... it's just what I am.
* Men don't relate to me. I'm just unlucky in love.
* I can't change jobs now... I went to school to get a career in this.
* My family members are low-achievers. We don't set the bar very high.
* Going to Italy and vacationing in Hawaii is for other people. I can't afford that.
And it goes on and on and on...
So what's wrong with these statements? They are how you view life, right? Your experiences in the past have shown you this is REAL. You didn't make circumstances up... this is where you are right now. Why would tomorrow be any different? This is how my life looks!
The View Through Your Window
Fair enough. And you are correct. You are seeing life right now based on your past experiences. The family you grew up in had a very strong influence on your expectations of what life had to offer YOU. And based on that yardstick, you measured just how far you felt capable of going. And then STOPPED! This is all you felt deserving of. These are the cards you were dealt.
There is one major flaw in that thinking. IT ISN'T TRUE! There is no difference in the thought you put into choosing what you were going to wear this morning as there is in choosing what your next step in life is. NONE! You are selling that magnificent system of synapses and neurons in your brain wayyyy short. Your brain... yes YOURS... is more powerful than any computer power house ever created. And the best part is, it's waiting for you to program it with your vision for your future.
Your Amazing Mind
This is one of the most powerful statements I have ever read: Your brain can't tell the difference between what is real, and what is actively imagined! Read that again! One more time! I read that for the first time in High School and felt a thrill go through me. This is a scientific fact! Not some pixie-dust notion a guru sitting atop Mount Hopeful came up with. It's science! Anything you envision (the more passionately, the better), your brain sees as your reality! If you work on it, you can convince your brain the sky is marble and grass is the color of Tutti-Fruitti Orange. Why do you think coaches have their players sit on the gym floor and spend 30 minutes visualizing the basketball sailing through a net when that time could have been used doing active lay-ups? Because they know the power of the mind and how it BELIEVES whatever you repeat to it in words, in pictures and with total faith, that it is real. That's why vision boards are so powerful. Your brain looks out through your eyes, sees those bright, colorful pictures you've pasted to a board of all the wonderful things you want for yourself, and it says, "Okie Dokie! I can get that for you!" The problem is, most of our Vision Boards are covered with dusty pictures of the past. It's your choice what you see for yourself NOW... not THEN... NOW!
Think about it! There go all your assumptions that your life is in neutral... buffeted about by the fickle winds of chance. There is absolutely NOTHING that you can't create for yourself, and tomorrow will be different from today as soon as you believe it will be. Not CAN be, but WILL be. Your past has no hold on you. It's just choices you made then. Now you can make other choices. Did anyone grab your hand this morning and force you to choose something from the hangar in your closet? Did someone place the correct cereal box in front of you and say, "EAT!" If your phone rang, did you have a choice as to whether you would answer it or not? You are in control, and once you grasp that, and start programming that amazing computer residing inside your skull with your powerful thoughts for what you DO want in your life... watch OUT! Uncle Harry, your sister Chloe, the guy sitting next to you, and your co-workers are going to look at you in shock, and say "Whassup? What got into you?" Just tell them, "New computer chips."
Make it sparkle!
Rebecca F. Pittman, creator of
Rebecca F. Pittman is the creator of Troubleshooting Men, What in the WORLD do they want?, the premier dating advice, relationship insight and image makeover website on the Internet. Spotlighted on Fox 31 and asked to be on national talk shows, is dedicated to helping women reach their full potential through self-confidence, self-esteem, beauty makeovers, fashion, fitness, etiquette, dating advice and so much more. Women can ask our panel of men in the Bull Pen all their questions about what men are looking for in the dating world, relationships and marriage. Come see what we can do to change your life into the abundant, rich and happy reality you deserve.